上帝告诉我说我是拿破仑
The Looney Bin
Late one night at the insane asylum （疯人院）one inmate shouted， “I am Napoleon！”Another one said， ”How do you know？“
The first inmate said， “God told me！”
Just then， a voice from another room shouted， “I did not！”
疯人院
一天晚上，在疯人院里，一个病人说：“我是拿破仑！”另一个说：“你怎么知道？”第一个人说：“上帝对我说的！”一会儿，一个声音从另一个房间传来：“我没说！”
Notes：
（1）Looney （俚语）疯子
（2）inmate （n。同住者， 同室者（特指在医院、监狱）
（3）insane asylum （疯人院）
我们现在还可以在天堂结婚吗
A young couple was on their way to get married when they had an accident and died。 Now they were in front of St。 Peter and the young lady asked if they could get married。 St。 Peter told them， he would have to get back to them with an answer。 Around 30 days later St。 Peter returns and tells the couple that they can get married in heaven。 The young lady then asks St。 Peter， “If things just don‘t work out can we get a divorce？“ St。 Peter looks at her and replies， ” Lady it took me 30 days to find a preacher up here do you really think I am going to find a lawyer？！！“
一对年轻的夫妇在去结婚的路上出了车祸，双双死去了。于是，他们来到了圣徒彼得面前，妻子问是否她还可以和丈夫结婚，圣徒彼得告诉他们，关于这个问题他一有了结果就会回来找他们。差不多30天以后，圣徒彼得回来了，并且告诉他们可以在天堂结婚。妻子又问：“如果生活的不愉快，我们可不可以离婚呢？”圣徒彼得看着她，回答说：“夫人，我花了30天才找到个传教士，难道你真的希望我再去找个律师吗？”